Fear often holds us back from making the changes we desire to make. But what’s on the other side of that fear?

Challenges? Yes. Sacrifice? Usually.

As Megan Whiteside, founder of Mom, Life, and Law and her new solo practice, Whiteside Legal, and I discuss on the newest episode of Lawyer On Your Terms, there is a price to pay for every decision we make.

Megan desired more flexibility in her law career to meet the needs of your young, growing family, but like many of us, she also worried about starting her own practice would impact her family financially.

So, how did Megan move past her fear?

Listen in to this week’s episode (or read the transcript below) to hear how and learn more about Megan’s launch story and her passion for helping other lawyer moms.

Kailey

Hey, Megan. Thank you so much for joining me today.

Megan

Oh, it’s such a pleasure, Kailey. Thank you so much for having me.

Kailey

So I have known you for a few years now, but the last time we spoke, you were employed and now you’re out on your own.

Megan

Yes, I know a lot has changed. We were just saying briefly before we hit record, it’s amazing how much can change in a couple of years.

Kailey

And so I have a million questions that I have not asked you personally. So we’re just going to dig through all of those on this podcast and hopefully people will be able to see parts of their current situation or their dreams and aspirations in your story and that can help others navigate to where they want to be.

Megan

I love it. I’m game. I’m ready to answer all the questions.

Kailey

Awesome. So can you start off by telling our listeners a little bit about yourself, your professional background, what you’re doing now and why you made that shift?

Megan

Sure. So I’m Megan Whiteside. I am a trial attorney in the DC area. I practice in Washington, DC and Maryland, focusing primarily on nursing home abuse and neglect. And I also do a bit of other plaintiffs personal injury work, including auto negligence and medical malpractice claims generally. But really my heart is with the nursing home cases and as part of the reason why, I went out on my own. So I have been a civil litigator for 13 years and I’ve worked in a variety of contexts. So I actually started out on the defense side, doing med mal defense and realized pretty quickly that that didn’t really align with my goals and values. And so ever since I’ve been on the plaintiff’s side representing the little guy or little gal. And so I’ve done auto negligence, so, car crash cases, premises liability, medical negligence. And in the last few recent years, I’ve really made this big shift to nursing home abuse and neglect, and that’s primarily representing the surviving children and sometimes spouses of folks who’ve been neglected or abused in nursing homes. And I really found that practice area aligns deeply with what I’m going through as a mom of littles.

Megan

So I have three kids, and at first blush, I don’t know that people would see it that way, but I have three littles. I have two sons who are six and four, and my daughter is she’s one. She’s almost 15 months, and I haven’t really announced this publicly, Kailey, but I’m expecting my fourth.

Kailey

That is so exciting. Congratulations, Megan. That is wonderful.

Megan

Oh, thank you. I’m thrilled. My husband and I are thrilled. We’re expecting another little boy. And so, like you, I am in the throes of young motherhood. It’s really my first and primary full time job.

Kailey

Right.

Megan

I love lawyering, I love what I do. Litigation is a passion. But the most important job I have is mom and small children and babies are vulnerable. They need us to protect them. They can’t care for themselves. They need help with feeding, bathing, changing, any medical issues that come up. And they really look to us for guidance. And there’s this innate trust, this beautiful trust that little children have for the adults in their lives and the elderly. It’s like the circle of life, right? This is what happens at the end of life. Elderly are vulnerable. They have poor safety awareness. They don’t necessarily understand what’s going on with themselves medically, and they depend on their caretakers. And when those caretakers and the families of the elderly depend on these caretakers, too. And so when those caretakers harm patients, harm nursing home residents, I find it quite an honor to be able to fight on behalf of those families. And so now, as a solo practitioner, I’m taking on those nursing home cases as well as some other general personal injury cases and absolutely loving the personal attention I can give to my clients in a way that’s just not necessarily possible at a bigger firm.

Kailey

Well, that’s amazing. I have to say again, I’m so excited for you and baby number four. There’s nothing better than that. And I completely understand the parallel, too, of raising little babies and the care for the elderly. My aunt and I were going through a lot of parallel experiences when she was caring for my 96 year old grandmother at the end of her life, and I was raising babies and toddlers. And not to condescend and compare an adult to a child, but just as you said, in that vulnerability, there are a lot of very similar challenges as a caregiver. And definitely wanting to defend the dignity of those people who are vulnerable is a very noble pursuit. So that’s wonderful. Now, was your main motivation going out on your own to be able to focus on that practice area? And or did it involve a desire to structure your work life any differently to meet the needs of your family?

Megan

I think it was a little bit more of the latter. I was at a wildly successful firm who had a thriving nursing home abuse and neglect practice. And I am grateful for the experience that I had there, really learning how to litigate these cases with excellence. And so what it ultimately came down to was I was not a right fit for that firm, and that firm was not a right fit for me. And it was a great experience for a long time, but towards the end, for a number of months, and then especially, it became heightened in the first trimester of this pregnancy that I was giving so much of myself to showing up at work. And it was draining me to the point that I had very little to give to my family at the end of the day, after either a long commute on the days I was going in or on the days I was working from home, coming up from the basement office and trying to transition from lawyer to mom. I had very little left in the tank, and with my eldest being six and a half now, it feels like a blink of an eye.

And I know it’ll be a blink of an eye and he’ll be a teenager and then out of the house. Right? And so in sort of looking at my life and looking at my children and talking to my husband about our goals and our values, I wanted to build my law practice around my life instead of living my life in the margins. And you and I talked about this when you came on my podcast a year and a half, two years ago. And Kailey, I have to say, I listened to our episode again in anticipation of this, and I cried because I probably could start crying again. You talked about things that I didn’t know I needed and sort of gave an example of what was possible and some guidance on how you navigated this a year and a half before I would ever know I’d need it. And the thought that you can do both, we can’t do it all, but you can be present in motherhood and live your values in a way that’s true and fulfill that passion. As a lawyer, I joke with people. I’m a happy lawyer. A lot of people think it’s fake.

It’s not fake. I really love being a lawyer, and I have the ability to compartmentalize some difficult parts of litigation. And I have a competitive spirit that it fuels me in a way that’s unique. But I didn’t want to just do that and have regrets about not showing up the way I wanted to at home, especially while my kids are little. And so to make a long story short, a lot of things sort of were happening in the months before I left that just sort of one of my dear friends calls it inconvenient intuition, where it’s like, I just knew I had to make a change.

Kailey

Yeah. And just to be really frank, I think that in motherhood in general, among female lawyers, female lawyers who are mothers, we’re not candid enough about the struggles of any decision that you could make. There’s a price to pay for every decision that you make. And sometimes we can go too far in trying to defend our choices. This goes for stay at home moms, for working moms, in a desire to not be shamed for whatever choice we’re making, or to make ourselves feel better for the price that we are paying. And again, there’s a price to pay for every decision that we start moving away from what we actually want by digging in our heels. And I’ve seen this on both sides. I have a friend I was speaking with earlier today who has worked part time for herself, but really she desired to go back to work. And she was taking on the pressures of other people she saw, and a lot of them were stay at home moms that weren’t lawyers, that weren’t struggling with this desire to balance two things, which is a finesse, really. And it kept her in a period of indecision for a long time because she was taking on the pressures of other people.

And then I will often hear from full time working moms that are not happy, just their justification of why in the long term, this is going to be better for them and better for their kids. And sometimes you just have to get really honest with yourself of like, am I convincing myself that I want to be home? Am I convincing myself that I want to work 50 hours a week and this is best for my kids? Or do I need to have a come to Jesus moment, so to speak, and just get real with myself about what I need and what my family needs?

Megan

Yes. And I’m not going to pretend like it was an easy transition or has been perfect. And I think that what kept me from a solo practice for years. And you and I have talked about this. This has been a dream on my heart for years, but I didn’t really see it as feasible while I had tiny children. And I live in a very expensive cost of living area. The Washington, DC. Area is wildly expensive, and the fear of financial uncertainty that comes with entrepreneurship is a really big deal, and it certainly still isn’t easy. I opened my firm in April of this year, and when you start something, a lot more money goes out than comes in. And you look at your savings and you go, oh, gosh, okay, well, that number is just going down a little bit, but I know it’ll come back up because I’m betting on myself. And I’ve seen so many women open their own firms, and it will come. The money will come. I work on a contingency fee basis, so I get paid at the end of cases. So I knew what I was getting into, and it’s just going to be a process.

But that fear, that financial fear is a really big deal. And I’ve had conversations with lots of moms who would never open their own firm because of that. And we get used to a certain lifestyle and level of income. And it absolutely is true that with a good salary and two spouses making a good salary, you can provide a really wonderful life for your children. And what I realized is that we can go through a period of sort of dialing back on some of the more expensive things in life. And the benefit to that is I get to be here and be present. It was a week or two, maybe two weeks after I left my last firm. My second son had a Mother’s Day tea at his preschool, and I had already told the school, his teacher, my husband, I wasn’t able to go. It was like 11:00 a.m.. On a Thursday or something, right? If we’re working moms, it’s just not feasible. Sometimes we try, and we can take time off. But my circumstance, as soon as the announcement came out, I had said I had a conflict, and I got to go.

And my dear husband had signed up to be one of the parents to set up for the event so that my son would see at least one parent there, even though it was a mom’s tea, my husband was going to be serving food. That’s a partnership, right? Okay, you can’t show up. Let me see if I can help. And getting to be there and I helped set up, and I got to be there with my son and one of my good friends, she had a work conflict, and I got to be there with her daughter saying, hey, we’ve got a spot for you. And I made it special for her and sent videos and pictures to her mom because we’ve all been there as working moms and had to miss things. But it was just this visceral moment for me where I was like, this is why I’m doing this. I get to show up where I want to, how I want to, and in my home life and now in my work life, too, which is the whole other benefit that I have found personally of just getting to be my whole self quirks and all in my business, because it’s mine.

And I don’t have to fit some preconceived notion of what a lawyer should do, should look like, should act like, should talk about coming on this podcast and talking so much about being a mom. I mean, this is one of the things I love to talk about. It’s a huge part of my identity, and it was something that didn’t quite fit at my last firm, and I think at a lot of firms in general, I’m too much for some people. And when you’re trying to fit into somebody else’s system, that can be a problem sometimes. But when it’s your system, the people who are for me are for me. The clients who are for me are for me. The friends who are for me are for me. And if they’re not, then those are not my people. And it’s so liberating and empowering to just be your true self, right?

Kailey

All of this is, I think, so important for people to hear. And it comes back to how do you measure success? And maybe you measure success differently in different seasons of your life, because you can have a season where you have less time, and you can have another season where you have less money. And we’re originally talking about this kind of polar choice of being a full time working mom outside the home or being a stay at home mom. But even in this hybrid model, if you will, of having more flexibility, there’s a price to pay for every decision. And back to your comment about financial concerns. It’s not like that isn’t an understandable concern. You have to make a plan about that. You have to make hard choices sometimes you have to plan out your exit strategy to give yourself enough runway. You have to have a plan about that. And again, back to the trade offs. Like, in spirit of transparency, in my own business, I have seasons that are really busy and seasons that are slower. So July, I practice business law. Everyone’s on vacation. July is always a slow month. I’ve finally come to accept this, and then things pick up at the end of August, and the fall is always busy.

But it’s not just in my business. It’s in the businesses of all of my clients that are B2B businesses and business coaches. July, it’s just one of those months. And that’s definitely a price you pay and you learn over time in not having the same paycheck coming in every month. But yeah. So getting back to your story, can you tell us about how you overcame that fear of the financial closing, this gap on the financial fear and how you planned out your exit strategy? Did you just kind of say, screw it, I’m just jumping in the deep end, or what did you do to mitigate those fears?

Megan

You know, it was I don’t have the best advice on that because I think a little bit was this pregnancy and dealing with anytime you’re expecting a baby, you think about, all right, how am I going to get through the first trimester of a pregnancy is difficult. And then, especially now with my fourth, I know exactly what to expect with the newborn phase and that transition. And I had this moment, and there were many conversations that my husband and I had but had this moment where I just sat there by myself and I went, I’m either going to leave now because this is not working, this is not a good fit, or I’m going to stay for a long time and be unhappy because I couldn’t. And it might seem crazy to give up a paid maternity leave, but if I stayed through a paid maternity leave, I would have been unhappy when I went back. And just my sense of duty and obligation and also not wanting to make a massive change with a newborn, I probably would have stayed for like a year or longer. And candidly, I was not the right fit for my employers either.

What they wanted and how they saw their business, I don’t think they understood why I had or wanted a podcast or took on national speaking opportunities. I was told, you don’t need to market. You don’t need to do business development. We have a marketing department for that, which I didn’t quite understand. But they also deserved somebody who fit their vision for their business. A lot of reasons why parting ways and me launching a firm made sense. And so the fear is not gone. I think you just have to do it afraid. And it’s the same as the decision to have children. There’s never going to be the right time.

Kailey

Yes, you’re never ready. You can pull that trigger and you’re like, is this really happening?

Megan

And you never are going to feel like you have enough money, right? Never. You and others who have launched your own firms have been an inspiration to me and sort of said, all of you is you got to do it scared and you have to make a decision. Is this right for you in that risk reward analysis, what is possible and what you want in terms of structuring your life? And so it was definitely, I think, the right call for myself for my last place of employment. I wish them nothing but success and I know that they have it and will continue to have it, and you just got to do it scared. And part of it is figuring out and making mistakes and learning from them and learning from the mistakes of people who have gone before you and really getting clear on your core values for your life and incorporating that into your parenthood journey, your entrepreneurial journey. And I think that it’s easier to navigate the fear, the uncertainty and the bumps in the road when you’re doing something that’s true to your values.

Kailey

And you said something that was very interesting when your firm mentioned that your podcast and your media appearances or they said that you don’t need to do that, but you did need to do that. You personally needed to do that. That’s why you were doing that. You had a desire, an internal need, if anything. Maybe they didn’t need it in their overall marketing strategy, but you had a need to do this, I imagine, because I can relate to it as this creative outlet. Or if you’re an entrepreneur, that’s something that is in your blood, in your bones. It’s part of who you are as a person. And even when you are in an employment situation and you might be happy with your work life, flexibility, there’s this, itch there that you need to indulge in. I remember before I had my daughter, before I was even pregnant, when I was working at the AG’s office, I was constantly just involved in creating these community activities because I wanted to create, I had that need. So I want to ask you a lot more about the podcast and the media appearances, but before we move on to that, can you tell us a little bit about what the structure of your day and week looks like and how is it different than what your life looked like when you were with your firm?

Megan

Oh, that’s a great question. And so, in the interest of full transparency, I still sometimes feel like a rudderless ship going from you’re expected to have your butt in the seat from this time to this time, or to be logged on and active on our system when working remotely from this time to this time to nobody’s checking on me. But now I am doing all of the things. So I’m not just showing up to be a lawyer, but I’m doing business development, I’m doing marketing, I’m doing the financial and tax side of things, I’m doing website and I’m the tech person and I am a true solo at the moment. And so I’m in charge of returning phone calls and making phone calls and that was all very intentional in how I chose to set up my business. And so my day is the two best parts of my day are the beginning and the end. Because the division of labor and the set up that my husband and I have, I wake up the kids and do the beginning of the morning routine. And then he comes in, he exercises every morning at the time I’m doing that.

And then he comes in at the very end of the morning routine and drops them off at school and camp. And so my day starts off the same each day, getting to wake up the littles and going through our routine, which I love. And then my work day looks different every day depending on the needs of my business or what I have scheduled in terms of media appearances or working on my podcast. And then from about 430 or five until 830 at night, it’s focused on family again, which I love the ability to do guilt free the second shift.

Kailey

And I’m sure you share in this, having kids of the same age, but it’s 430 and all of a sudden it’s 830. That is like the four hour power hour. I will sometimes get an afternoon coffee, like the 330 pick me up and I’m like, oh, this will be nice to sip on while I make dinner and do the dishes. I don’t even get a sip of it, it’s cold and I’m like, what just happened?

Megan

This is why I drink iced coffee. One of many. No, it’s so true and it’s a time of day that requires your full attention and for the most part, I’m pretty good at putting away technology during that time. Not perfect, not claiming to be perfect whatsoever, but while they’re little, being present in the moment. And I just love how joyful kids are. Like kids experience things with their whole body and just to be able to sort of be in that space, it’s just fun. We laugh. It’s not perfect. My little boys sometimes have the zoomies and just so much energy to burn they can’t sit still to eat a meal to save their lives. It’s okay, we go through it. And then by the time everyone’s asleep, I typically will log back on and do work in the evenings just to get organized for the day ahead or prepare for whatever I’m doing for the day ahead or just do a little bit of work. And so I did that to a certain extent at the law firm, I would certainly work in the evenings, but it felt much more pressured. Have to get this done tonight because I am not naturally a morning person.

And so the idea of waking up at like 430 or five to get something drafted before I have to wake up kids sounds much more daunting than staying up until one in the morning. It felt like pressure before, but now it’s a choice. And so structuring my days, I’m sure. And I’ve gotten advice from other law firm owners on time blocking and things that I’m testing and playing with, but I basically am just my day is dictated by the needs of my kids and then my business, then my kids and my business again.

Kailey

And I think you get into flows, and then in the next quarter, it changes. So don’t feel bad if I don’t have these particular time blocks nailed down, because even if you did, it would probably change in the fall and it would change in the winter and change in the spring, because your business is going to change, your energy levels are going to change too, and everything just changes. And the nice thing about owning your own business is you can adapt to all of that.

Megan

Yes. And if we just had this bout of summer sickness go through all of the kids, and I basically for almost two weeks straight, because of course, with three kids, it hits one and I get better, it hits the next, and they get better, and then it hits the next. And in my past life as an employee, my husband primarily would be the one who would stay home with sick kids. I would from time to time, as my schedule allowed, just because I want to. As a mom, you want to be there. But I’m a litigator, and if I had trial, court appearances, depositions, it just often wasn’t feasible for me to be the one to stay home. And my husband works for the federal government and has for many, many years and has great flexibility. It’s a wonderful perk of his job. And so it was sort of the unwritten rule that most of our schools and certainly our daycare provider learn quickly. They call dad first. Instead of mom first, we put my husband as the first contact. I know a lot of moms can sympathize when you get the call, and you’re like, we put dad first, call dad.

But after a few times, they figure it out. But now that I am in charge, I was with the kids the whole time, and that had its challenges, certainly. But I was so grateful for the ability to do that. And it led to a lot of late nights where I to still stay on top of things. I worked. And so I was tired certainly in those two weeks. And my husband commented, too.

Seemed more at ease than I had in other times in the past when our kids have been sick. And it’s true. It’s like because it’s my choice of how to spend my time, there’s this peace that comes along with it. Stress too, but those two things can coexist. But just peace and a joy, knowing this is what I get to do, what I want to do and what I choose to do.

Kailey

This might be a strange analogy, but as you’re talking about this, I’m thinking of pregnancy. Is it comfortable? No. Is it enjoyable?

Megan

Not always.

Kailey

But is it natural? Yes. And so there are these things that it’s not like nine months at the spa, but there’s something even enjoyable about the discomfort because you feel in alignment, you feel in your element. It’s natural to you. And it sounds like that’s what you’re saying, that not that you’ve switched roles, but he had a greater degree of flexibility and that at least in the season right now, is shifting over to you a little bit. And even though you would rather they be healthy and not have that stress, there was something natural about the discomfort of all of it.

Megan

Yeah. And just like the family dynamic of we’ve just incorporated ease back into our family. And I think a lot of maybe all working moms can relate to this, that there’s so much in the juggle of working and mothering that is stressful and that causes tension. And you said it earlier about when you make decisions, you’re going to give up something, right? Saying yes means saying no to something else. And grappling with that as a working mom can be really difficult. And so I’ve taken on a new hard right, the fear of financial uncertainty, building something from the ground up, making mistakes and only having myself to blame. That’s a new hard. I’m learning to deal with that new hard. But there’s a new ease. So by saying yes to my new hard, I am saying no to being at the mercy of somebody else’s schedule and having a bit more ease in my family life and my marriage and getting to show up as my true self and my joyful self in a way that I really hadn’t been for months, if not longer. And even though I’m sometimes that rudderless ship of, okay, what do I need to be working on next?

Am I getting it all done? It really feels like a big weight was lifted where that’s how I knew I was making the right move in opening my firm. It’s like your body knows when you’re out of alignment versus when you’re. In it. And so it’s not perfect, but I have incorporated a lot more joy into my life these last few months.

Kailey

And also the discomfort, the new hard thing of the financial uncertainty as you get your firm off the ground and you build it, that’s something that is going to dissipate over time. As you go through this journey, your business is going to become more predictable and more stable, whereas in your firm, until you reach the point where you’re a half retired partner, you weren’t going to be getting back your time or trading that hard thing in that situation.

Megan

Yeah, and I think that not everybody has the entrepreneurial spirit, but it’s a fun challenge and I think that on balance, the joy in business outweighs the stress and the fear. And so I think it’s a very individual choice. But I can already see, based on the referrals that are coming in, most of my clients come from attorney referrals. And that’s the beauty of a small shop where it’s another lawyer referring somebody to me. They know me, they know how I work, they know I’m the right lawyer for this particular set of clients. Watching and tracking the numbers of referrals and cases and making projections on you don’t have complete certainty, but you have certain things within your control on how you move cases along. I can’t wait to have the data a year from now and five years from now.

Kailey

See the pattern.

Megan

Ten years from now. Right. To see the patterns. And so those moments of freak out or fear are fewer than excitement.

Kailey

Yes. Because you come to this seems very oversimplified, but it’s true in those moments where you’re like, okay, it’s July, it’s slow. This is Kaylee speaking to know, well, next month is August and we know what happens in August and it’s going to be okay because it’s always been okay and we have a track record. And that’s what happens when you have the benefit of that data to examine. So shifting to the fun parts of entrepreneurship, you have a lot of ways that you creatively market your business and you’ve done this. We talked about the podcast even before going out on your own. And for anyone who probably a lot of our listeners have listened to your podcast since, there are just a short list of podcasts geared towards lawyer Moms. But tell us just a little bit about that podcast. I think you were having your daughter when you were kind of winding that up, if that’s going to be resurrected or turned into something else in the future and then I would love to hear about all the media appearances that you’re doing to market your current practice.

Megan

Yes, so my podcast is Mom Life and Law, and I started it during the pandemic in my basement and it has been on pause for quite a while, but I am actually recording interviews now as we’re recording this I’ve had it scheduled, so it will be back. And I had put that on the shelf during a really difficult first trimester in my pregnancy with my daughter and then realized that my firm was happier that I was not doing the podcast. It became very apparent that it just was not something that was supported. And so now I’m in charge. So the podcast is back.

Kailey

Oh, that’s wonderful.

Megan

Yes. And that podcast is really geared towards providing support and encouragement to lawyer moms. And I have found I have an audience of working moms generally where you’re struggling with how do I lawyer as if I have no kids or work as if I have no kids and meet all these expectations at work. And then, Mother, as if I have no job and try to meet my own and society’s expectations of what it is to be a quote unquote good mother. And so many women, especially during the pandemic, it was heightened, are just so unhappy, depleted, stuck. And so my goal with that podcast is to provide most of the episodes are interviews. Some are just me sharing some thoughts and ideas of just ways to encourage and uplift the women who are grappling with this dance, with this struggle. And having women like you on the podcast are just examples of what’s possible, right? We don’t all have it figured out, but everybody’s got some superpower or something they’ve tried that’s worked, and we can learn from each other. So that podcast has been such a gift and such a fun, creative endeavor, and I felt called to do it when I started it in the fall of 2020 because so many of my lawyer mom friends were struggling and I had been struggling.

COVID was a very difficult time for moms of young kids, especially lawyer moms of young kids. And what I realized through that experience and my own personal growth in building that podcast was that being a mom is such an important thing to me and such a big part of my identity that it helped me actually in my law practice. And what I have found and sort of now shifting as a business owner is that my ideal client is also a mom. There are just things about women who are mothers that are just amazing that society doesn’t always recognize. And in my law practice, moms take care of so many people in their lives, their children, their spouse. Hopefully they’re in a partnership where the spouses are taking care of each other, but it doesn’t always work that way. They’re taking care of especially in the sandwich generation where they’ve got children and aging parents. And what I found, especially in my car crash cases and my nursing home cases, is that, say, for example, in a car crash case, when mom got injured and mom went down, the whole family unit suffered, right? If mom goes down, everyone goes down.

And insurance companies that I would either negotiate with pre suit or in litigation, fight against an insurance lawyer. They just didn’t value the unpaid work and love and devotion that moms give. And similarly, in my nursing home cases, most of my clients, and not always, but most of my clients were it was the sister in a group of siblings who she herself was a mom of younger children or teens or young adults and the primary point person and caretaker for aging parents. And that caretaker role was going both ways. And they are depleted and stretched to the brink and then they deal with a trauma and a crisis. And I find it to be such an honor and a privilege to take care of these women who take care of everybody else. I can take some of their burden and represent them, protect their rights, guide them. I fight for all of my clients, women and men alike, but there’s just a fire in my belly for showing up and fighting for the women that take care of everybody else. And so when I realized that that’s kind of an OD, scary, different perspective than you hear from most lawyers. And so I did a lot of personal work to get comfortable with putting myself out there differently. And so when I launched my firm very intentionally, I put pictures of me with my kids on my website and I put information about my mom life and law podcast and my job as mom on social media. And I’m very proud of that part of my life. And it’s not the way you typically see lawyers market themselves, right? And that’s where it sort of came back to the work I’ve done of really getting comfortable with being different and saying the clients that are for me are for me. And if they think it’s weird or that motherhood takes too much attention away from litigation or that’s not the type of lawyer I want, well then those aren’t my clients. And there are a lot of wonderful lawyers out there who can help them. And so sort of the way I’ve put myself out there in podcasting, in coming on other people’s podcasts and showing up for media appearances, it’s very exciting and empowering to show up just as myself and not feel like I have to hide any one aspect of my life for fear of being judged.

Because it’s like if you I almost want people to judge me because then I know, okay, they’re not for me.

Kailey

Yeah, I feel like this just sub conversation could be its own episode because I completely relate to that. I also really enjoy working with other moms. I would say probably the majority of my clients are business owners who are also mothers. And there’s just an affinity. I forget who first coined this phrase, but on the tip of my tongue, no, don’t know. Anyway, it’s a quote that when a child is born. A mother is born also. She did not exist before. The woman, yes, but the mother, no, a mother is something entirely new. And it’s true. There’s a birth of a mother that happens whether it’s through adoption or however you’re mothering. There’s just a transformation that happens. And I think oftentimes we as women devalue the role of motherhood more than men do. That’s at least been kind of my observatio. I have a friend who’s expecting her first child, and without going into her whole story, she’s probably going to initially be at home with the child and then finish grad school when the child is a couple of months old. But even reflecting on those couple of months that she’s going to be with the baby, she said, but I feel like that’s not enough. Most people work and is it okay to just be a mom? And I’m laughing, thinking like you’re in for it, being at home with an infant, that’s not easy. And as a working mom, you can probably relate to you go to work, you go to an office where it’s quiet and the ice cubes in your iced coffee aren’t melting or you don’t need to reheat your coffee.

It’s an inexperienced comment to say just a mom. However, we have done that to ourselves over the last several generations as women, that we used to do it all, and now we do it all to the 10th degree. And I think that what you’re doing is really important in bringing back the value of motherhood to the lives of women, children, all of society, that this is not something to be ashamed of. This is some of our most important work we’ll ever do.

Megan

Oh, absolutely. And I think to a certain extent we undervalue it. But I also would be remiss if I didn’t talk about and I won’t go into long stories, but especially in the legal profession, motherhood is seen as a weakness. And I have had judges in open court accuse me of not taking my responsibility seriously when I wouldn’t continue a case during my maternity leave, and accuse me of trying to use my motherhood and my pregnancy to get out of my duties to my client in front of a packed courtroom of my peers that I was mortified. Unbelievable. And a female judge on top of that. But that’s a story. Yes.

I’ve had male bosses make comments about maternity leave that were extremely offensive. I’ve had male colleagues. I’m the wrong person to make certain comments to because you’re really not going to offend me. And I’m very confident in myself. After a lot of personal development work, I will say. But the legal profession is often hostile to moms and women who are trying to move up the ranks, whether in law firms, in government, in house, a lot of women have a well founded fear of showing the mom card right.

Kailey

Being put on the mommy track.

Megan

That’s right. And so I am on a mission to change that narrative. And if not for anything but my example of you can work in a firm, you can own your own firm, you can have success as a litigator and be a very active litigator and a mom. And is it easy? No. But I can go and try a two week med mal jury trial. And there’s a lot that goes into the prep for that at home to be away. It’s hard, but it’s a choice that I make, and I make with my husband because there are people that I want to serve. And then I take time after that for special family time and enjoy that and really be present for my family. And my kids are okay, and my clients are better for it because I have that balance. And so women, we may do some of it to ourselves, but it’s certainly an uphill battle in many professions, the legal profession included, and it’s not going to change until both women and men decide to make a change. And I am encouraged, I’m cautiously optimistic that the men and women of our generation and the generations behind us are really prioritizing parenthood.

And so hopefully, 20 years from now, you and I will be having a conversation about, thank goodness all of these changes have occurred in our lifetime. So I think we all should give ourselves some grace as women and as mothers and feel okay making choices that put family first and honoring that. The full time job of mom is probably the harder job, even though being a lawyer is hard. And for those women who take time to stay home, you are not just a mom. That is a vital important and hard job. And I salute all the stay at home moms because that is not my gift. I would not be the best stay at home mom. I’m a better mom for working. And so if you and I can just do a little part to encourage and uplift women, hopefully women can carry that on to the other moms in their lives to uplift and encourage, because I think that it’s amazing what women are capable of doing.

Kailey

I think so. And, you know, we stand on the shoulders of giants, of the, you know, women that have come before us. And I do think that years from now, our daughters will be having they’ll have their own goliath to slay. But hopefully in paving the way for this new frontier of how work life balance can look, these are not the same struggles that they’ll deal with or they will know that there is another option out there. That it doesn’t need to just look one way or doesn’t need to look only two ways.

Megan

Yes.

Kailey

So, Megan, can you wrap up by just speaking to our listeners who maybe are on the fence, they would like to go for it. If they had those assurances that everything was going to work out for them, what would your advice be to someone who feels that way right now?

Megan

Just go for it and do it scared there’s never going to be a right time, you’re never going to have enough money or enough clients or listened to enough podcasts or read enough books to feel completely ready. As with anything you do as a novice, I felt like that when I became a mom. The first time I felt like that in launching my podcast when I was a novice at that and that with a spirit of everything is figureoutable and an army of women in your corner, you can do anything. I do not claim to do this alone. I have women who and a few men who I can call upon with questions, who will lend practical advice and emotional support and I think having a great partner at home who’s in your corner and your biggest cheerleader and then a group of trusted confidants that will empower you to just go for it. If this is a dream on your heart, you will figure it out and I will be cheering for you.

Kailey

That’s wonderful, Megan. Where can people get in touch with you and connect with you?

Megan

So if you’re needing a nursing home abuse and neglect lawyer in DC or Maryland, you can check out my website. I’m also on social media, LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook at Legal and that’s my firm name, Whiteside Legal PLLC and if you’re interested in checking out my podcast, it’s called Mom Life and Law. You can find it on all of the podcast apps. And I’m also on social media, Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, at Mom, Life and Law. And I’d love to connect with you. It’s actually me responding to the messages so don’t hesitate if you want to reach out. I’d love to hear from you.

Kailey

That’s wonderful. Thank you so much for joining me today. Am going to look forward to re listening to this episode myself just to hear your insight and words of wisdom again. So, Megan, thank you so much for your time today.

Megan

Thank you so much for having me, Kailey. I always enjoyed chatting with you. It was so much fun.

Kailey

Me too. Thanks, Megan.